My best friend is struggling mentally, but refuses to talk about it. What can I do? | | “We never know what anyone is going through unless they tell us, and this is why we need to be mindful of our language. We need to not make assumptions, or even use language that seems like we are making assumptions, and instead show care, and ask questions in a compassionate way. Asking open-ended questions allows the individual to respond as they want to and not feel pressure to answer in a certain way. We must take the time to actually hear their response and further, acknowledge that not everyone wants to share everything, or is ready to share, and that needs to be OK.” | | How can I support my partner/best friend/family member who has just given birth? | | “Checking in on women is crucial! As we see from [the Invisible Mothers] data, women feel unsupported, alone, isolated, not heard, unappreciated, and more. When people check in on others and ask how they are, it can immediately shift the way we feel. It immediately tells our brain that “someone cares,” and since our thoughts, emotions and behaviors are all linked, it can completely shift the way that we feel, think, and act. It doesn’t take much to feel supported, but a simple “I’m thinking of you” or “How are you doing” can go a long way— as long as the person feels it is genuine and the person is pausing to actually listen. The person needs to feel heard for it to really have an impact.” | | Being the default parent is completely exhausting, how can we change the balance of expectations in society? | | "Women need to feel supported, appreciated and heard to voice their needs and have these important conversations. Additionally, what women are asking for and want, shouldn’t even need to be an ask. Gender shouldn't dictate expectations—both parents deserve equal pay/leave, and both parents should share responsibilities (or find a way to share responsibilities). Society's messaging plays a significant role here. We must break the stigma and normalize both parents' involvement, as well as mental health challenges and getting support. Language shapes our perceptions and beliefs, individually and societally. We internalize things that we see and hear, just like we internalize and start to believe our own self-talk. If advertising only promotes 'mom and baby' roles, we limit possibilities and create the assumption that we should be doing this. But, if we see things advertised for 'dad/partner and baby,' this broadens our perspectives and eases pressure on women.” |
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